Continuing onto the East wall, past the exposed stonework probably slept on by Queen Elizabeth I, we find a rack of further ex-village shop shelving. Fretsaw, bench sander, grinders, metalworking tools, turning blanks and genuine assorted gubbins throng these plains.
No, please don’t sit down, we still have a long way to go yet.
Ah yes, the Monstrous Carbuncle lurking in this ancient building. What can I say? Most of it is more useful to me as a bench top than its intended purpose, as you can see. Basically it gets used for the planer thicknesser function, and that’s it.
Here we find ourselves at the redundant second door. Rumour has it that anyone entering by that door during a full moon will be entombed in checked shirt, safety glasses and tool belt for the rest of their days. Norm Abram apprently visited once. More clamps - can you ever have enough? Safety stuff and the Tool Chest.
A wall of tools. Currently in a state of flux and ear-marked for a program of renovation and scaffolding to obscure your view for the next three years.
At the end of that, to the extreme right of the entrance, is the Secret Chamber. Looks like a simple couple of pegs to hangs aprons on, doesn’t it? But pull those aprons aside…
… and reveal - some gauges and a few rules. Okay, so I didn’t say it was a good Secret Chamber. Look, this is a cheap tour, okay? What d’you expect? I wanted to work in Torremolinos…
Finally, the piece de resistance. Literally the centrepiece of the building. The workbench. Built by the famous German renaissance factory of ECE, and recently resurfaced.
Only very recently has the decision been made to reveal the back to the general public.
Finally take a moment to look above your heads at the exquisite triple-wall polycarbonate roof, air filter and reinforced beam that used to be used for taking out tractor engines…
… and of course the floor. The original owner intended it should be a checkerboard of back and while tiles so he could play chess. Alas he died before completion, and his son preferred jigsaws… A real boon on a concrete floor though.

And that concludes our tour, ladies and gentlemen. I’m afraid we can only spare 10 minutes in the shop, and then back to the coach as quickly as you can. Please don't try to pet the guard dogs on your way out; they tend to get a trifle tetchy with strangers. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen? Hello...?

Where'd you go?!

Masochists may wish to Return to Part One